Thursday, May 29, 2014

Alexander




On May 13, 2014 we had to say good-bye to our sweet Alex.  He had a cold the week before but we thought he was getting much better over Mother's Day weekend and we had a fun time hanging out.  On Monday, I watched the Mother's Day Price is Right with him.  On Sunday, I stayed home from church with him and we watched Music & the Spoken Word and read scriptures and snuggled.  That evening he was very cheerful and gave Todd lots of big smiles before bed, and Monday morning he seemed to be breathing great and he was happy and smiley.  But that afternoon he got very sick with lots of coughing, then his heart rate went quite high so we took him to the hospital.  He ended up at Primary Children's Hospital where the doctors and nurses took very good care of him but things went from bad to worse and he passed away with Todd and I by his side at about 3:30 on Tuesday morning.  

He will be sorely missed.  He was a delightful child and a strength and joy to be around.  But for the last few years his body has been getting weaker and it's wonderful to know that he is free from the frailties, pain, and constraints of his body and that we will see him again in the next life.  We know that we will be a family forever and that our relationship will grow and grow and we will all have a great time.  

The nearly 17 years we spent with him were all a miracle, and we are grateful for him and all he taught us.  

Following are the obituary, written by Todd, Abby's Life Sketch, and the talk I gave at the funeral.

Obituary:
Alexander Todd Mitton of Lindon, Utah, died Tuesday, May 13 from complications of pneumonia.  He was 16 years old.

Alex was born in Boston along with his triplet siblings Abigail and McKay.  He lived the first four months of his life at Massachusetts General Hospital where he was cared for by loving nurses and doctors.  He lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts until he moved with his family to Lindon in 2000.  He attended Rocky Mountain Elementary School and Oak Canyon Junior High, and at the time of his passing he was a junior at Orem High School.

Alex lived a life marked by cheerfulness and courage.  As a result of being born three months early, Alex had cerebral palsy.  Throughout his life he was faced with numerous surgeries, illnesses, and hospitalizations, yet he was unwaveringly brave through all of them.  He benefited from the excellent care of many at Primary Children’s Medical Center, which often seemed like his “home away from home”.  Despite his many physical challenges, including not being able to walk or talk, Alex had an infectious smile and laugh, and he had the ability to spread joy to those around him.  He loved life and enjoyed reading, swimming, skiing, and watching The Price is Right.  He enjoyed many kinds of music and had a special love for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Alex is survived by his parents Allison and Todd Mitton, his sister Abigail, and his brother McKay; his grandparents Reid and Sanna Lee Mitton of Salem, Oregon, his grandparents Larry and Anne Prestwich of Longmont, Colorado; and many uncles, aunts, and cousins.  Those who were privileged to get to know him could not help but love him, and he will be dearly missed.

Todd,  McKay & Alex at Temple Square




Life Sketch of Alexander Todd Mitton
by Abby Mitton

My brother Alex was a fighter from day one.  On June 7th, 1997, Alex, McKay and I were born at the Massachusetts General Hospital.  As a result of being born 3 months early, Alex and McKay have had many physical challenges, mostly cerebral palsy.  Alex especially went through a lot, and spent the first four months of his life at the hospital. 
When we were 3 years old, we moved here to Lindon.  We started going to school and Alex loved learning new things and interacting with the people around him.  He was so smart. 
We had so much fun growing up together as triplets and sharing so many special experiences, like birthdays.  We spent a lot of time going on walks at the park, playing in the sprinklers in our yard and playing games together. 
Once, when we were about 10 years old, we were playing a card game for family night where everyone is dealt a few cards with different things or activities on them.  One person is “it” and then everyone else in the group has to pick one card that they think the person who is “it” would like the most.  We were able to play this game by helping the boys point to or look at the card they wanted to pick.  So when McKay was “it”, we were reading off the cards we had picked for him so that he could choose his favorite.  One of the cards said “nail polish” and we figured out that that was the card Alex had picked for McKay.  Alex thought it was so funny.  He always had a really good sense of humor.
We loved going to Disneyland as a family, and Alex’s favorite part was The Tiki Room.  Much to my annoyance, we would often sit through the little show at The Tiki Room two or three times in a row.  I guess he liked it because it was so colorful and happy.  Looking back, it seems to fit his personality.  Alex also loved visiting Nauvoo, Moab, Salt Lake City, and Oregon, especially the Tillamook Cheese Factory and the coast.
Since we lived in Boston, Alex loved the Boston Red Sox and anything to do with baseball.  He also loved watching Blue’s Clues, Music & the Spoken Word, Psych, Sesame Street, especially Cookie Monster, and The Price is Right.  Alex used The Price is Right to his advantage quite a lot.  When we were little, he wouldn’t eat unless The Price is Right was on, even on Thanksgiving.  Just a month or two ago, our friends Chad and Curtis took the boys to the dentist, and they told us Alex wouldn’t open his mouth to get his teeth cleaned until they told him he could watch as much Price is Right as he wanted when they got home.
Even though Alex was pretty tricky and mischievous, (we called him “Havoc Boy”) he really had a love for the gospel.  He was one of those people who you could just see his testimony of the gospel in his eyes.  He loved going to church, the temple, and seminary.  And he loved anything to do with prophets.  He was always close to the spirit.
When Alex was a little older, about 12-13, he started having more and more health problems.  He had to get a feeding tube instead of eating by mouth, and more recently he needed oxygen to help him breath better.  Even through all of these challenges, Alex was still one of the happiest, most optimistic people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  We were able to visit Hawaii through the Make-A-Wish program a couple of years ago, and even though Alex was sick for a lot of that trip, we still have many great memories and pictures of him grinning from ear to ear on the beautiful beaches in Hawaii.
Alex touched the lives of many doctors, nurses, friends, and family members.  It’s safe to say that really anyone who met Alex was impacted by his cheerful, sweet soul.
I recently read the novel, “Peace Like a River” by Leif Enger.  I often use words in books when I don’t know how to put together my own words, and so I would like to share this quote from “Peace Like a River” with you.  “Though battered in his appearance, the man moved with Spirit.  He was like one going to his King, having served to his deepest ability.  He was almost running.”

I know that while he was here, Alex changed lives.  He had just the right body to do the work here that God wanted him to do.  He truly served to his deepest ability, and I am so thankful that we were able to spend time with him and see what an incredible young man he was.  I can hardly wait for the glorious reunion that we will have in Heaven someday.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


Allison's Talk: 
Thank you all for coming to celebrate Alex’s life with our family. 

For the past nearly 17 years I have had the privilege of being Alexander, McKay, and Abby’s mother.  It has been so fun to be a triplet mom!  They have filled my life with wonder and joy.  The first thing I’d like to do today is to thank those who have helped me mother them over the years.  We have been blessed to have the help and friendship of several wonderful women who have helped me care for them.  They have eased my burden of care, filled our home with love and laughter, and been sisters to me as they have served our family.  I love them and am so grateful for them.  I am also grateful for the multitude of wonderful teachers, aides, and health professionals that have taken care of Alex and McKay.  We think that through them we meet the most wonderful people in the world.

Now, I speak to you today of the reality of God and the blessing of the Atonement of the Savior.  Alex always had a tender heart when it came to things of the Spirit.  Todd and I have tried to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to our children and I know that Alex knew it was true.  He loved it when we read scriptures, when we talked or sang about prophets, when we prayed, and when we went as a family to the temple to perform baptisms and confirmations for the dead.  He loved to “stand” in holy places!  I know that he had a testimony that the gospel is true; that he knew that he had a Savior who provided him with comfort to withstand his trials. 

Our little family is very happy.  We know we are blessed to have each other.  But over the years we have all had many sleepless nights of sorrow and pain and many days of worry and care.  I had one such day about 4 -1/2 years ago.   It was a few weeks before Christmas and McKay had been in Primary Children’s Hospital in Salt Lake for several days.  I was melancholy.  I wanted to be home with everyone else preparing for Christmas.  I was weary of being at hospitals all the time and of seeing both of my boys suffer.  Our family had been through much tribulation that year, and unbeknownst to me, much more was to come.  As McKay slept, the idle thought crossed my mind:  “Does God really love us?”  Nearly immediately a host of memories came to my mind of the tender mercies and outright miracles our family has experienced.  I knew that God loves us and even in my annoyance at yet another stay in the hospital, I could not deny that I have felt his love in specific and palpable ways. 

A few minutes later, however, the still, small but distinct voice of the Holy Ghost spoke to me:  “You know God loves you.  The real question is, Do you love Him?”  My quick answer was, “Of course I do.”  But the moment asked for more from me.  I knew that this was where the “rubber hits the road,” so to speak.  I stopped to really think.  I counted my blessings.  I remembered times of holiness and healing in hospital rooms and at home.  I recalled many specific instances when my soul was anguished but when I received an abundance of comfort and peace.  I reflected on the joy I have in knowing that I am a daughter of God, that I have a Savior, and that I know that we will all someday be resurrected and that our physical bodies will be perfected.  I realized anew that I do, indeed, truly love God.  With all my heart, mind, and soul I love Him and thank Him for the beauty and grace of my life. 

I know that Jesus Christ once walked on the earth and that while he was here he taught his gospel.  I know that gospel has been restored to the earth.  I know that in the garden of Gethsemane and on the cross my Savior and yours suffered for our sins and also for our sorrows.  I don’t know exactly how the eternal mechanics of this works, but I know it does.  This knowledge has brought power and peace to my life.

And today, I stand before you to testify that I still love God and I still know that he lives and that He loves me.

 I have had the privilege of associating with angels – one of whom was Alex.  He loved me and cared for my soul very tenderly.  I testify that Alex was on God’s errand here on earth.  The spirit witnessed to me in a very special way many years ago that Alex, McKay and Abby came to earth together for a reason, and that God had given each of them the body they would need to perform the mission that He had in mind for them.  Through the trials and experiences Alex faced, his soul was purified and refined.  He was always sweet and full of goodness, but as he grew up and endured many surgeries and illnesses, I saw him mature in multiple ways.

Although he couldn’t speak, all who knew him could tell that he had a brilliant mind.  I sensed that his understanding of the gospel grew over time and that he was competent in things of the Spirit.  I also sensed that he grew in wisdom and compassion.  I believe that he was being prepared, through a unique set of circumstances, to serve the Lord in specific ways in this life and the next.  The Spirit has testified to me that this is true, even as I write this talk.

Several months ago as I was pondering the eventuality of Alex’s passing on to the next life I had the thought that when I get to heaven I know I will be a little rough around the edges and will have things to work on.  But I knew in that moment that Alex was completely ready.  I could picture him in my mind – straight and tall, striding right up to Jesus and, with his cheerful voice, big smile, and steady manner, simply asking, “What do you do need me to do now?”  He has received the priesthood of God in this life and is ready to exercise it fully in the next.  He will be a great leader – he has a terrific sense of humor and is humble, compassionate, understanding, kind, and wise.

I testify that he is in a glorious place.  I testify that I will always be his mother.  I know that through the covenants Todd and I made in the temple 20 years ago our family will be together forever.  I love my Heavenly Father and I am so grateful that he is patient with me.  I am grateful for the hope I have of eternal life through the blessing of the Atonement of my Savior.

Ever since Alex was a young child he has loved choral music.  He looked forward to Sundays when he would watch episodes of Music and the Spoken Word featuring the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  Lloyd Newell and Mack Wilberg and Shane Warby were his version of rock stars.  We kept some of his favorite episodes on our DVR for years.  I remember that several years ago Abby made him a certificate for the accomplishment of watching 10 episodes on a single Sunday.  We are so grateful for all those who have gathered to sing for Alexander today.  It is truly an honor to him.

The choir will sing “Pilgrim Song.”  The words to this song are inspirational and sum up the truths of the gospel that Alex knew.  In closing, I would like to read the words of the song to you so that as you listen to the beautiful music you will understand why we chose this song for today.

My brethren, I have found a land that doth abound
With fruit as sweet as honey
The more I eat, I find, the more I am inclined
To shout and sing hosanna

My soul doth long to go where I may fully know
The glory of my Savior
And as I pass along
I’ll sing the Christian song
I’m going to live forever

Perhaps you think me wild, or simple as a child
I am a child of glory
I am born from above, my soul is filled with love
I love to tell the story

My soul doth long to go where I may fully know
The glory of my Savior
And as I pass along
I’ll sing the Christian song
I’m going to live forever

My soul now sits and sings
And practices its wings and contemplates the hour
When the messenger shall say
“Come quit this house of clay, and with bright angels tower”

My soul doth long to go where I may fully know
The glory of my Savior
And as I pass along
I’ll sing the Christian song
I’m going to live forever

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.




5 comments:

  1. Allison, I am so glad you posted these talks. I loved the funeral so much and I told my mother all about it. She cried and cried. I brought her the CD with the Pilgrim Song and she has played it many times now. You are such a wonderful person and the most amazing mother ever! I love you and your family very much!
    Roxane

    ReplyDelete
  2. Absolutely beautiful, Allison! I've had a good cry reading everything. Much love to your family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family. We are blessed to know all of you and to have been able to be touched by Alex. We love you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. beautiful! The spirit was so very strong at the funeral.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Allison, thank you so much for posting this. I really wish I could have been at sweet Alex's funeral. The obituary was lovely and Abby's life sketch was touching. What an amazing girl she is. Your talk was just incredible. I am awed and strengthened by your faith. I am coming to Utah for the summer and I would love to have some time with you. All my love, Liz Brough

    ReplyDelete